I’ve been working on this post since December. I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on my first year of marriage.

Jared and I have been talking about all that we’ve accomplished. I have two more semesters under my belt, he has graduated and gotten a job, and we’ve loved each other the whole way through it. We’ve also found out that neither one of us is perfect, and that’s been an interesting ride.

When we first got married, I compiled a list of things that I had learned. I would like to do that again. I actually haven’t read that other post in a long while, so it’ll be interesting to see what comes of this.

1. Sometimes, you have to be a freaking olympic medal winning gymnast. Not only because when you’re busy your apartment gets cluttered, and sometimes you just really have to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom or get a drink in the dark, but because fighting is something that is really easy to fall into. It’s like the thing that’s always waiting for you, especially when you get really tired or really stressed. Sometimes, it’s really easy to step over it and not do it. Other times, you have to do a sextuplet backwards octopus somersault to stay away from it. But even when you pull a muscle trying to avoid it, it’s worth it. That being said:

2. You can’t ignore problems. They don’t just go away. But timing is everything. If I see that Jared is really upset already, it isn’t a good time to remind him that I asked him to do the dishes and they still aren’t done (hypothetical, of course, my husband is perfect). And he does such a good job at waiting until it’s a good time to bring something up with  me. Adding trash on top of trash just makes a bigger pile of trash. Pulling things out when there is some breathing room can make all the difference.

3. Prayer still solves everything. It may not necessarily fix the problem, but it’s a good way to let go of some things. When we pray together, it gets rid of animosity or stress, and gives us a chance to have some rest, knowing that we’ve laid our burdens on the Lord, and that He is going to help us get through whatever it is that we are dealing with. That doesn’t mean life is freaking peachy or anything. It just means that when we involve the Lord in our lives, it makes things considerably easier to deal with. Prayer is also a way to be sanctified. In conversing with the Lord, we become clean and whole as we are filled with his spirit. Prayer is one of the most powerful actions we can take in this life.

4. Everyone has problems. But if we don’t deal with our problems, we can’t help others with theirs, and sometimes, we’ll never really be able to help other people because we can’t or because they don’t want help. We have to focus on us first. That doesn’t mean that we have to be selfish, because sometimes helping other people with their issues helps us. However, if my arm has been cut off, it wouldn’t make much sense for me to help someone tie their shoes. It’s kinda the same concept of when you’re on an airplane, and they tell you to put your mask on before helping anyone else do it. You’re not much use if you’re dead.

5. Intimacy can cure a lot. Not everything, but a lot. So many times when I thought I was going to break down, the loving arms of my husband did more for me than anything else. That physical presence of someone who loves you more than anything is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world. It’s enough that even when I’m not with him, I can feel his arms around me. It’s pretty amazing how far a hug can get you, and how much even further kisses can get you. It’s a driving force in my life, and I’m so grateful for those little moments of closeness.

6. Family is wonderful. I’ve  grown closer to people in my family and people in Jared’s family over the last year, and it’s nice. They can be so supportive and so helpful when we need them to be, and that’s really nice. However, I’ve grown to depend more on Jared, and I think he has done the same to me. It’s a new feeling to have one person that you can always turn to, and while having other people there to go to is absolutely wonderful, having one person that is your best friend and the love of your life is simply the best. I’ve grown so close with people that I thought I was already close with, too, and that has been fun and enlightening.

7. It’s really amazing how much of yourself you find when you really look. And there’s all sorts of you’s out there to get acquainted with. Every new corner is brimming with experience. We just have to have the strength to look around that corner.

8. Believing in the impossible makes things more possible. When the White Queen told Alice that she believed in as many as 6 impossible things before breakfast, she was teaching Alice an exercise in faith, trust, and hope. Without those three things, there isn’t much else out there, is there?

Take care of the sense, and the sounds will take care of themselves.   ~The Duchess

Yea, we still kiss. Whatever.