4 Years

Four years ago today, I woke up really early in the morning. In fact, I could barely sleep the night before. Why? Because it was Prom. And based on the events of earlier that week, I realized that I was totally crazy about my date.

We had gone to a Diamondback’s game. In fact, it was my first. Not because I’m not a fan of baseball. In fact, quite the opposite. I just had never had the chance. So when I found out where we were going, I was so excited. Especially because it had been way too long since Jared and I had been able to catch up.

By dinner time, we were holding hands. And I can’t even describe to you how it felt to hold his hand. All the things I had ever heard about love attached themselves to our clasped hands. I cared about a lot of people before, but for the first time ever, I really felt love. And it scared the heck out of me.

So by the time the day of Prom rolled around, I had completely hyped everything up in my mind. I couldn’t sit still.

It started with the hustle and bustle of make upping and hair dos, and the butterflies in my stomach only got worse as the time that Jared was supposed to be here approached, along with an unexpected dust storm.

And yet, when he came to the door, the dust settled, the clouds parted (literally, it really happened) and my shaking subsided—all of a sudden the night had begun, and he looked amazing in his tux. I wasn’t scared, but pleased and excited to see what the night would hold.

And most importantly, I was in love, and after 5 years I could no longer deny it.

The night started with the usual taking of pictures, but then we went to dinner, and boy was it incredible. We ate at a place called Donovan’s. It was so beautiful and fancy, I couldn’t believe it. The best part was that Jared chose his food by closing his eyes and pointing. That’s what he picked. Steak, I think. What a goofball.

Then we headed on down to Stronebridge Manor for the actual prom. The thing is, they hardly played any good songs to dance to.

And then it happened.

My song came on, the song that I have always loved, that I, for some reason or another, have always associated with my future husband. And we danced. Our first dance together was my song, “I’ll Be. It was incredible. But the moment of holding each other in a dance soon faded as the rap music started again and went for over an hour. We sat and talked and smiled and joked until the Prom Royalty was announced and we danced on the grass together for the slow song. The rap music once again commenced, so we left.

We then went to a church parking lot and Jared played country songs out of his stereo in his brother’s car that we danced to. He sang to me, gently “Little Moments,” a song that described me in just about every aspect. I finally by then had worked up enough courage to tell him I was crazy about him, something I had wanted to do since earlier that week at the Diamondbacks game. He simply smiled, that beautiful, boyish smile and said, “I know.”

He pulled me closer, I rested my head against his shoulder, and we danced until it was time for Justin’s date, Lucy, to get home.

The thing is, by the time we got to my house after Lucy, I still had half an hour until my curfew. We hugged, but we didn’t let go. We held each other forever, it seems, just there together where there was no care in the world. And then, we kissed there under the stars. It was beautiful.

A day not to be rivaled until our wedding day. And this is the wonderful memory I celebrate today, and I just kinda smile and enjoy how everything happened.

Procrastination

I have a 6 page paper due on Friday.

I have a 10 page paper due on Monday as well as a final.

On Tuesday, I have a 3 page paper due, a 10 page paper due, and a final.

But I’m blogging instead. Because I have tomorrow to do all of that.

I’m thinking a lot about my life. I’m pretty poor, I live in a cheap apartment, I eat cheap food, my car breaks down every chance she (yes, brothers and sisters, she) gets, I’m almost always busy with school or work, but I’m pretty much the happiest I’ve ever  been.

Firstly: I’m married to my best friend. I was talking with some friends today about what would’ve happened if Jared and I wouldn’t have gone to Prom together. I don’t even want to think about it, because I am sososososososo happy. I love everything about him, even the things I hate about him. I absolutely love lying in bed next to him every night and just being able to reach over and play with his hair or hold his hand without him even noticing. Sometimes, I forget that we’re married, and every time I remember, it’s the best memory ever. I seriously love that guy.

Next: My family and my in-law family are both amazing. I was worried about how things would go with our families because it would be tough to balance time and life. But both of them are doing well sharing us and helping us and just being a huge support. On Easter, we spent a lot of time with both of our families, and we really enjoyed all of that time together. It just feels right. The other night, Jared said, “You really were meant to be part of my family.” I don’t know how his family feels about that, but I like to believe it’s totally true. And I love belonging.

Also: I have had a lot of friends that have come out of nowhere to just be there to give me a break and a hand when I need it. J.J. and Susan came and made dinner for me last week because I was so sick, and there are so many other stories of my friends being totally awesome through all of this. I can only hope that I’m as big of a help for them or that I will be one day.

And I kinda like to be busy. Even though I put a lot of stuff off and get a lot of grief for it, I really enjoy having every second of my life totally full of good and edifying things. And I’m really so grateful. I just love life. So, thanks for that, everyone.

Procrastination is, hands down, our favorite form of self-sabotage.

Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby 

Honeysuckle Puppy Poo

Yesterday was a successful holiday. I know this because I’m completely exhausted today. And I feel completely edified.

We started out our day in church, the perfect place to be on Easter Sunday. Sacrament meeting was way more humbling than it ever really has been before, as my thoughts turned to the last week in the life of our Savior. We were able to spend some of our lesson time talking about how much He loves us and how we see that every day in our lives. The rest of the lesson was on miracles, and how our faith grows. We let each of the kids tell about their favorite miracle, and talk about maybe some modern day miracles (oh yea, did I mention Jared and I got called to teach primary? We’re teaching the 8-10 year olds. I love them already). I felt like that was the perfect lesson for Easter Sunday.

We then came home and waited for my parents to come and pick us up to go out to visit Pam and David. It’s always so nice to go over there because it’s so relaxed and comfortable. The food was great, the company was fantastic, and it was really a great way to spend the afternoon. I got to see some people I haven’t seen in a while, and I was really happy with the way things went. It’s always so nice to spend time with them because there isn’t any pressure. One day, I’m going to get Pam and David a sign to go over there front door that says, “Come as you are” because I feel like that’s completely the mentality. It’s great.

Then we came home and rested for about a half hour and trekked down to Grandma Lanette’s, which is always a good time. We had more great food, an epic Easter egg hunt, a lot of story telling, and even more laughter. And, of course, holding the baby is always pretty sweet. Especially because he doesn’t always cry when I hold him, and he hasn’t spit up on me yet. Overall, Tyler and I are off to a great start.

So, you might be wondering about my blog title. Really, I’m just hoping I beat Dan to it. Basically, this is what I’m going to call Dan for the rest of my functioning life. And that’s because, well, I mean, can you say it without giggling?

Nicknames stick to people, and the most ridiculous are the most adhesive. 

~Thomas C. Haliburton

Broom

I bought my first broom today. I’ve been married and living outside of my parent’s house for four months, but I haven’t bought a broom until today. It wasn’t until I looked at it happily and touched it’s bristles that I realized what’s going on:

I’ve caught the homemaker bug. All of a sudden, all I want to do is clean and decorate.

I think that three years ago, I would’ve looked at myself and shuddered. Ugh. Women are always giving up blah blah blah blah to become housewives. I dreaded that idea all through high school. There was nothing I wanted less than to just become the little woman. And I knew I couldn’t marry anyone who would force me into that role because I would resent him forever. But I’m pretty much content. And I don’t feel like I’ve sacrificed anything to be a wifey. I feel like I’ve gained more than I could ever explain. But that’s me.

I think the world expects women to operate at two extremes. Either they are feminist or they are oppressed. I don’t see it that way. I think that it takes a lot of character to stand up and say, “I’m going to be a successful, working woman.” I also think it takes a lot of character to stand up and say, “I’m going to be a mom and a wife.” I think it takes a lot of character to stand up and say, “I’m going to do both because they’re both good things.” I don’t think any of those are wrong. Women who choose not to have children are no less women, just as women who choose to have children are no less brave. It’s all a matter of perspective and priorities, and so to the women in the world, I say, be proud of who and what you are, and do what’s best for you! Don’t feel like you have to give into something just because that may or may not be what’s expected of you.

For example. I’m so not ready for babies. If the Lord sees it fit to bless me with one now, I’ll gladly accept. But if it were 100% up to me, a baby wouldn’t be in the picture until I’m done with school. But I have friends younger than me who have had babies or will be having babies soon. And I think that’s great! I have friends who never ever want to have kids, and that works for them. I’m in the middle of the two camps because it’s where I need to be. I don’t feel any pressure to go one way or the other on the matter because I have decided that what I need to do for myself is more important than either doing what people expect of me or defying the standards of the world around me.

Right now, though, my new baby is my broom, and I plan on getting close with it this weekend. And I’m all right with that idea.

Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.
Eleanor Roosevelt