What is this thing that men call death?

I’ve been thinking a lot about death. And rightly so. I never thought in a million years that I’d lose one of my siblings so young. Especially not LaDawn. But now, I really look back on things, and I remember how scared she was to go into the hospital, and it was almost like she just knew that this was it. And, I think if I had really looked inside myself, I would’ve known as well.

The thing that makes this the hardest is the family division. Her husband doesn’t want half of the family at the funeral. So we’re going to have our own memorial service. It makes me sad that I wasn’t even asked if I would like to dress her or do her hair or anything. I would have liked to have given her mortal body more respect than it will probably be given by people who barely knew her. It makes me  sad that we won’t even get to say goodbye to her body. My hope is that even though they have her body with them, her spirit will be with us. And I think it will.

Smiling at a baby

I think that even though she is gone, the one thing we will never do is forget her. And the wonder of it all is, that through her  death, our family is growing closer than ever before. I think she wanted it that way. I wish we would’ve seen the bigger picture sooner.

There is no death, but only change. With recompense for vict’ry won, the gift of Him who loved all men, the Son of God, the Holy One. -Gordon B. Hinkley

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Bachelorettehood

I’m sipping an old DP, the ice long gone from the heat of Arizona summertime, and listening to Disney music, mixed in with love songs, jazz songs, and various other esque songs that really seem to fit my mood today for some reason.

And I think I might maybe miss it a little bit.

What, you may be asking yourselves? Well.  Bachelorettehood.

Not so much being single and crazy and whatnot, but just having this time to myself to not worry about finances or life or what’s going to happen tomorrow.

I’m throwing a bachelorette party with a few friends for Aubrey. She’s getting married in two days. Two. Wow.

And in five months, when it’s my turn to be a wifey, I will embrace it and love it and own it. Because it’s all I want, really.

But I think for now, I’ll just sip my DP and sway to Michael Buble.

“I envy people who drink–at least they know what to blame everything on.”

~Oscar Levant